Well, well, well...it looks like there's actually going to been an NFL season this year and that can only mean one thing: you need to figure out where you are going to watch the game this Sunday. Well, you really don't need to waste anymore time worrying about this problem, because I've got a solution for you: you should watch the game at Paul and Melvin's house.
Well, at this point you may be wondering "Why in the world would I want to watch the game at your house?" Well, I'm glad you asked. It's like you threw a coin in the proverbial wishing well and you got your wish. You see, watching the game at our house will include free food coming off a hot grill. Whether you like your hamburger well done or pink on the inside, we've got you covered. If you're a hamburger snob, we'll make an exception for you and burn up any kind of plant or other meat your heart desires (well, depending on what your heart desires, you'll probably need to bring your desire with you, but we'll allow it to grace the grill).
If free food isn't enough to entice you; well then did I mention that we're giving away cash and other prizes? Well, actually, that's a lie. It seems to me that you really don't need another reason to get together with friends (both old and new) to watch the Titans play their first game (it's an away game so you really don't have an excuse).
Feel free to pass this invite along to others ( http://pgraddy.com/event/kickoff-sunday ). Anybody and everybody is invited - we don't have a real big house but we'll make it work. The only thing I ask is that you let me know you are coming. Don't send "maybe I'm coming"; a late "yes" is better than an early "maybe". If you could let me know by midnight on Saturday, September 10th, then I'll make sure we have some food for you. After that, well, you're on your own for food.
You can let me know by email, text/phone, twitter, facebook, or even snail mail (well, as long as you get it off soon enough). As always, I'll have a counter up tracking how many people are definitely coming so that you can wait to respond until it hits your favorite number: http://pgraddy.com/event/kickoff-sunday-counter
Feel free to come and go when it's convenient for you. The three games Nashville gets will be on throughout the day (Titans @ Jaguars - noon, Giants @ Redskins - 3:00 pm, and Cowboys @ Jets - 7:20 pm) unless of course, we decide that the Spanish version of The Parent Trap at 5:30 pm is a better use of our time.
At this point, I've probably already written too much and your eyes are glazing over so I'll leave well enough alone and turn it over to the FAQ.
Frequently Asked Questions (aka Things You Are Probably Wondering).
Q. Seriously, how many times are you going to write "well" in your invitation?
A. I was actually playing a little game to see how many times I could write "well" without anybody noticing; well, looks like I lost.
Q. Should I bring anything?
A. If you have time and/or money, it would be great if you could bring a side item. A side item can be anything from a bag of chips to some delicious concoction you slaved over for hours in your kitchen; we're not picky. If you aren't able to bring a side; don't worry about it. We've got everything else covered.
Q. What is this game of the gods of which you speak?
A. If you're not a Titans fan or you find the game of American football to be repugnant, that's okay, we can just pretend that you like the game and you can still get free food. The weather right now is saying chance of thunderstorms. If it clears up, you are more than welcome to play a gentleman's (or gentlewoman's) game of croquet or bocce ball in the yard.
Q. What kind of event is this? Can I bring my kids?
A. Definitely. This is an event for everybody. Feel free to bring your kids, grandmother, and/or your estranged uncle.
Q. Can I invite my friends?
A. Feel free to invite, drag, force and/or coerce as many friends as you want to come along. Just be sure to let me know how many I need to prepare food for.
Q. I've seen that your other events don't have alcohol. This is football we're talking about...please tell me there's going to be alcohol this time?
A. Hopefully there won't be any need to drown any sorrow away. Whenever I do an event, I do my best to make sure it is an environment where everyone from kids to teetotaling grandmothers would feel comfortable hanging out. If you want to do keg stands while watching the game, I guarantee you there are options for you. For Kickoff Sunday, there will be plenty of drink options but alchoholic beverages will not be a part of the mix.
Q. What if I don't know anyone? I don't even think I know you.
A. Ah...that sounds like all the more reason to show up. Who couldn't use another friend in their life?
Q. I don't need any more friends and I have no idea how I got invited to this stupid thing!
A. Well, all I can say is my apologies...if you let me know, I can make sure I don't invite you to any other stupid events - no hard feelings.
Q. Do you have a map I can look at?
A. Of course...
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